"You're here on a very special night, ladies and gentlemen. The entire balcony here at the Ed Sullivan Theater tonight is filled with defeated Democrats. Yeah, buddy!" –David Letterman
"Big losses for the Democrats in the elections. Here's how bad it was for the Democrats — earlier today, the Democratic Party was begging Rush Limbaugh for pain killers." –David Letterman
"Bad year for Democrats right now. All the Democrats have left is the presidency, both houses of Congress, and all of Hollywood. That's all they have." –David Letterman
"Next February, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush will be debate, at Radio City Music Hall. I'm looking forward to that line of high-kicking Secret Service agents." –David Letterman
"Clinton and Bush are debating, and, honestly, think about it, what is more exciting than a presidential debate that doesn't count, if you think about it?" –David Letterman
"One year ago today, ladies and gentlemen, Barack Obama was elected president, one year ago today. One year later, we're still in Iraq. We're still in Afghanistan. But, you know, at least we got rid of Paula Abdul." –David Letterman
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