David Letterman Political Jokes

"Do you know what President Obama is doing tomorrow? And this is kind of cool, especially if you're the president. He's going to accept his Nobel Peace Prize. And as you know, the Nobel Prize is a predictor of the Academy Awards." –David Letterman

"I looked this up. In the history of presidents in the United States, only two have won Nobel Prizes while they were in office. The first one, of course, Woodrow Wilson, because he is the man that they credit for ending World War I; second, Theodore Roosevelt, for, what? Yes. He invented the Teddy Bear." –David Letterman

"The Salahis — now these are the people that crashed the state dinner at the White House for the prime minister of India. It looks like they're going to be subpoenaed now by the House Homeland Security committee, and I'm thinking why bother? They'd probably show up anyway." –David Letterman

"Well, did you hear about this, ladies and gentlemen? I thought this was exciting. Our top commander in Afghanistan, General McChrystal, says that it's time now to get Osama bin Laden. Why not? All right." –David Letterman

"According to the CIA, Osama bin Laden has been sneaking into Afghanistan from Pakistan and as a matter of fact, in Afghanistan, he lost $125 million in the casino." –David Letterman

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