"Do you folks know what is going on with NBC and the trouble they're having with Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien? I thought this was nice. President Obama invited Jay and Conan to the White House for a beer." ?David Letterman
"Our good friend, Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska, is a contributor to Fox News. Only been there a couple days. Already making friends. Today, she loaned Glenn Beck some mascara that does not run when you cry." ?David Letterman
"She's doing a lot of public speaking, and next week, she will be in Las Vegas speaking at a liquor convention. And what a coincidence, because I think McCain was drunk when he picked her." ?David Letterman
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