"President Obama got out of jury duty. No word yet about getting us out of Afghanistan." –David Letterman
"And here's big news: United States Senate reconfirms chairman of the Fed. Ben Bernanke was reconfirmed. So he'll have the job for four more years. I just hope we have an economy for four more years." –David Letterman
"Remember when they hanged Saddam Hussein? Well, you remember his buddy, Chemical Ali. Well, he got hanged over the weekend. And his wife was Chemical Shirley. Do you remember Chemical Shirley? I was just wondering is it too soon to hit on Chemical Shirley?" –David Letterman
"He is the one that killed all the Kurds, Chemical Ali. He shouldn't be confused with the guy who killed NBC. That was Chemical Zucker." –David Letterman
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