Sunday, February 7, 2010

David Letterman Political Jokes and Toyota Joke

"A couple of days ago, there was the annual race, people come from all over the world, and they race up the stairs of the Empire State Building. Wait a minute. You want to get your heart racing, you really want to get it pump pumping? Do what I do. Drive to work in a Toyota." –David Letterman

"You know about this big Toyota recall? And things are dangerous, and I'm coming to work in my car. Here's how scary it is. The navigation lady was actually praying." –David Letterman

"You folks excited about the Super Bowl coming up Sunday? And the New Orleans Saints' fans, I'm telling you, they have waited a long, long time for their team to get into the Super Bowl. Not as long as they waited for FEMA, but still, it's been a very long, long time." –David Letterman

"President Obama is having a big Super Bowl party. And you know what he is doing? This guy is shrewd, very savvy politically. He has invited a bunch of senators to come to the White House for the Super Bowl party. What could be more fun than watching a four-hour football game with Joe Lieberman? There you go. Talk about rock 'n' roll." –David Letterman

"There's a new Osama bin Laden video. Gosh, I mean, this guy, what is he doing, working at Blockbuster?" –David Letterman

"There is always a new Osama bin Laden video. And in this one, he's worried about global warming. And he's blaming the United States for global warming. And I just thought to myself, wait a minute, this guy thinks it's warm now, wait till he gets to hell." –David Letterman

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