"The entire East Coast is covered with snow banks and snow drifts, or as Toyota drivers call them — 'cushions.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"So cold out there the writing on Sarah Palin's hand said, 'Economy,' 'jobs,' 'put on gloves, stupid.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Airports all over the East Coast are facing flight cancellations. In fact, under each departure time, it says, 'Are you freaking kidding me?'" –Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama told White House reporters that his meeting with bipartisan congressional leaders went, quote, 'well.' When asked why he was being vague, he was like, 'because.'" –Jimmy Fallon
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