The Winter Olympics are under way in Canada. Skiing, snowboarding, ice-skating, these are not sports. They're vacation activities. I feel like I'm watching someone's home movies." –Jimmy Kimmel
"They showed the biathlon today, a combination of cross-country skiing and shooting rifles, which is known to Sarah Palin as 'commuting.' " –Jimmy Kimmel
"NBC has exclusive rights to the games, so we can't show any footage from the Olympics. In fact, I'm not even supposed to say the word, 'Olympics.' That may have cost us $800,000 right there." –Jimmy Kimmel
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