"I love the biathlon. That's the sport that involves skiing and shooting the rifle. Or as Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, call it, 'date night.'" –Jay Leno
"President Obama had his first physical exam as president over the weekend. The doctor said he was in much better shape than the country." –Jay Leno
"Interesting, when the doctor told him to turn his head and cough, he turned to the left." –Jay Leno
"And over the weekend, President Bush said that he is writing a book about how he made decisions while he was president. We have an advanced copy of it here. It's called 'What Would Dick Cheney Do?'" –Jay Leno
"More problems with the auto industry. General Motors announced a recall of 1.3 million cars because of a steering problem. Apparently, the cars are unable to steer out of the path of oncoming Toyotas." –Jay LenoFollow On Twitter
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