"President Obama released his 2010 tax return. It turns out that he made $1.7 million and spent $14 trillion." –Conan O'Brien
"Donald Trump said if President Obama releases his birth certificate, he will release his tax returns. The President said, 'Well, I promise not to run for a second term if you release that thing on your head.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Gary Busey said on the 'Today Show' yesterday that Donald Trump would make a great President. Now Trump just needs endorsements from Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen." –Conan O'Brien
"The FAA has suspended an air traffic controller for watching a movie while on the job. The guy explained that he just couldn't get to sleep." –Conan O'Brien
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