Friday, April 1, 2011

Late Night Comedians-Gaddafi Jokes

"Moammar Gadhafi is said to be hanging out in a series of underground tunnels. That's basically admitting you're evil." –Jimmy Fallon

"No one can agree on how to spell Gadhafi's name. He's like the Hanukkah of dictators." –Jimmy Kimmel

"The strikes on Libya are costing $100 million. Or, in Moammar Gadhafi terms, five Beyonce concerts." –Conan O'Brien

"On a rambling call to a TV station, Gadhafi ranted about his enemies and blamed others for his problems. He said he feels fine and is ready to go back to work. He's now the Charlie Sheen of Libya." –Jay Leno

"Moammar Gadhafi is starting to sound a little crazy. Al-Jazeera canceled his show, 'Two and a Half Shiites.'" –David Letterman

"Moammar Gadhafi is blaming Osama bin Laden for all of Libya's troubles. It's going to be awkward when these two guys meet in hell." –Conan O'Brien

"Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi described President Obama as an African of Arab and Muslim descent. After the speech, Gadhafi was given his own show on Fox News." –Conan O'Brien

"Gadhafi said no sane person would join the protests against him. He then joined the protests against himself." –Conan O'Brien

"Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi said that people protesting against him are under the influence of 'hallucination pills.' In a related story, Charlie Sheen just boarded a plane to Libya." –Conan O'Brien

"Gadhafi said he will fight the protestors until the end and he will die as a martyr. The protestors responded by saying, 'Deal.'" –Jay Leno

"People in Libya want Moammar Gadhafi to leave. The problem is, he'll be replaced by his idiot son, Moammar W. Gadhafi." –David Letterman

"In Libya this could be the end for strongman and exhausted Lionel Ritchie impersonator Moammar Khadafy. With any luck we’ll get to see citizens storm the Palace and Moammar’s posse of 40 to 50 female bodyguards defend him. That news footage will be golden. The menacing click-clack of razor-sharp 5-inch stiletto heels. Choreographed waves of 6-foot amazons spin-kicking protesters in the jaw. It'll be like a Janet Jackson video." –Stephen Colbert

"I don't think Khadafi gets it, because half the country is in rebel hands, his military is defecting and he's being tried at the International Criminal Court. Somebody asked him today what he's doing. He said, 'Duh, winning!'" –Bill Maher

"It's one humiliation after another for Moammar Gadhafi. First his own people started rising up against him, then his compound was bombed, and now he's getting beaten up by the French." –Jay Leno

"It's being reported that Moammar Gadhafi is surrounded by an elite core of female bodyguards. In a related story, Charlie Sheen invaded Libya." –Conan O'Brien

"Gadhafi said his people 'love him.' I think that's what he said. It was hard to hear over the rebel gunfire." –David Letterman