"President Obama campaign just moved into a 50,000 square foot office in downtown Chicago. Meanwhile, Ron Paul's campaign landed a sweet kiosk at the mall." –Jimmy Fallon "Joe Biden said that working on the deficit with Republicans is like carpooling to work. In response, everyone who carpools with Biden was like, 'It can't be that bad.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"The SEALs recovered an extensive stash of pornography from Bin Laden's compound. It's probably not easy just having sex with the same 11 wives all the time. There were interesting titles: 'Debby Does Abbottabad,' 'Deep Goat,' 'Bare Ankles 4,' and '2 Humps, 1 Camel.'" –Jimmy Fallon
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