Showing posts with label Top Ten Signs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top Ten Signs. Show all posts

Thursday, November 3, 2011

David Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Herman Cain's Campaign Is In Trouble"

David Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Herman Cain's Campaign Is In Trouble"

10. Can't afford cigarettes for new campaign ads
9. It's been fun, but there's no way we're actually electing a guy named 'Herman'
8. While campaigning, kissed a photo of himself and signed a baby
7. New campaign slogan 'Mayday!'
6. Even Michele O'Bachmann thinks his ideas are nuts
5. He trails Gadhafi's corpse in the polls
4. Refuses to acknowledge the road to the White House goes through me, Dave
3. He's acting less fun-crazy and more crazy-crazy
2. Just accepted million-dollar offer to pose nude in Playboy
1. There's a 0-0-0 chance he'll be president

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

David Letterman's Top Ten Signs You Won't Win A Nobel Prize


10. You invented swine flu
9. Misspelled 'Nobel' and 'Prize' on application
8. Mathematics paper notes 'all figures approximate'
7. There's no Nobel Prize for napping
6. Your peacemaking efforts focused on Jon and Kate
5. You're up against Tina Fey — she wins everything!
4. Only prize you've ever won was for eating 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes
3. Devoted your life to creating a sushi that will still allow Jeremy Piven to act
2. Only medical experience? Sticking a needle in A-Rod's ass
1. Barack Obama flew to Sweden to plead on your behalf
Follow On Twitter----Premium Domain Names