Funny Political Jokes From Jay Leno

"Whew! Last night, I had that great new drink, the Navy Seal. Three shots -- boom -- and you're done." --Jay Leno

"Well, you know, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said the Somali pirates were all 'untrained teenagers with heavy weapons,' or as we call them in this country, rap stars." --Jay Leno

"As you know by now, Captain Phillips was rescued when Navy Seals shot and killed three of the pirates, although, according to Phil Spector's attorney, the pirates shot themselves in the head." --Jay Leno

"There was some nice news this week. The Obamas got a new dog. It's a Portuguese water dog named Bo. Now, don't confuse that with what Dick Cheney had. That was a waterboarding dog. That was totally different." --Jay Leno

"You know, Portuguese water dogs are very intelligent animals. In fact, some White House Cabinet officials have already taught it how to get out of paying taxes." --Jay Leno

"And today, President Obama gave a speech on the economy, saying there would be more pain now, but hope later, to which pro basketball's Los Angeles Clippers said, 'Hey, that's our slogan.'" --Jay Leno

"Scientists from the University of Padova, in Italy, announced this week that baby chicks have the ability to do basic arithmetic and can add basic numbers together. You know, it's bad enough our public school kids can't compete with kids in China and Japan. Now we're losing to poultry in Italy? This is bad. We need to get better schools." --Jay Leno