10. She's already completed her 2012 presidential concession speech.
9. Her husband Todd is a person of interest in dozens of unsolved snowmobile hit-and-runs.
8. State troopers have been instructed to taser Katie Couric on sight.
7. "Memoir" is misspelled.
6. Not only can she see Russia, earlier today she saw the astronauts working on Hubble.
5. The entire thing, plagiarized word-for-word from Artie Lange's "Too Fat To Fish."
4. Cover shows her in a passionate embrace with a shirtless Fabio.
3. Sworn in as Governor with her left hand on a copy of "Guns & Ammo" magazine.
2. Claims she had three-way sex with Michael Phelps and a stripper.
1. She voted for Obama
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