Funny Political Jokes by Jay Leno

"Ooh, the big story, earlier today -- I can't wait to see the ratings on this -- Elizabeth Edwards was discussing her marriage on 'Oprah.' And this weekend, John Edwards will discuss his marriage on 'Cheaters.'" --Jay Leno

"There were signs that John Edwards was not the most faithful guy in the world, you know. Like, Elizabeth told Oprah that she asked John for one gift before their wedding, to be faithful. But after Elizabeth made this request, John stopped looking in the mirror and said, 'Huh? I'm sorry. Did you say something?'" --Jay Leno

"Actually, The New York Daily News is reporting that John Edwards' mistress is mad about all this publicity, and she is now demanding a paternity test. Well, good luck getting John Edwards to give up a strand of hair. Never happen." --Jay Leno

"President Obama announced today plans to either trim or eliminate 121 programs. The programs he wants to eliminate -- Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly." --Jay Leno

"Here is something that's causing a huge controversy here in California. Our governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, says it's time to start the debate on legalizing marijuana. Yeah. He says he 'wants some pot in every pot.'" --Jay Leno

"Of course, people in Los Angeles are split on this. Half want it legalized, the other half think it's already legal." --Jay Leno

"Actually, the University of California says they may start a marijuana research center. Really? I thought the University of California was a marijuana research center." --Jay Leno

"And government bureaucrats in China have been ordered to smoke more locally produced cigarettes in order to set an example for citizens and stimulate the Chinese cigarette industry. And health officials are worried that smoking could become the number one cause of death now because of this government mandate. But do you know what the number one cause of death is in China now? Disobeying a government mandate. So, you're kind of stuck." --Jay Leno

"And a Georgia man is recovering in Pittsburgh after becoming the first U.S. recipient of a double hand transplant. Got two hands transplanted from another guy. He used them for the first time today to grab his heart when he saw the bill." --Jay Leno

"As you may have heard, there was a little controversy when some semi-nude photos of Miss California leaked out. The really bad news is that they were taken by John Edwards." --Jay Leno