Jimmy Kimmel Late Night Political Jokes 9:29:09

"Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has a new book coming out. They say she finished the book ahead of schedule so they moved the release date up to November 17th. So, turns out she can finish something." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The title of the book is 'Going Rogue,' which is how some of John McCain's advisers derisively describe what she did during the presidential campaign. The title is getting a mixed reaction. Some people like it, some people don't. And some think 'Going Rogue' is a rip-off of Joe Biden's memoir, 'Going Rogaine,' which came out like five years ago." --Jimmy Kimmel

"You know he's not just the Vice President, he's also a client." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Meanwhile, President Obama has an idea to make our country smarter. He wants to shorten summer vacation and extend the school year. And I don't want to be cynical, but clearly this is a back door deal for the powerful Tater Tot lobby." --Jimmy Kimmel

"I miss our old President, who worked for more recess for children, not more school. Instead, we elected the kid who reminds the teacher that she forgot to give the class homework. That's no fun at all." --Jimmy Kimmel
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Funny Political Jokes by David Letterman 9:29:09

"The former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, has completed her memoir, and it'll be in stores in November. So that's something to look forward to. A lot of people aren't taking her seriously. I've seen it. It's a big, huge book. But when you go into the store, you can use that big book to step up so you can reach a better book." --David Letterman

"The book will be out this November. Coincidentally, she was out last November." --David Letterman

"It's called 'Going Rogue.' Not to be confused with John McCain's new memoir, 'Going Several Times A Night.'" --David Letterman

"You know what happened one year ago today? The stock market dropped 700 points. One year ago today. Do you have any idea what that means? Neither do I." --David Letterman

"It's interesting now. A lot of people say, they're bragging, 'I didn't lose any money. I'm smarter than that. I didn't lose any money.' For example, Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska, did not lose a penny when the stock market tanked. You know why? She has all her money in pelts." --David Letterman

"Chicago, Illinois, wants the Olympics in 2016. Everybody is pitching in. Remember former Governor Rod Blagojevich? Even he's pitching in. He said if they send the Olympics to Chicago, he will throw in a US Senate seat." --David Letterman

"President Obama says he will use all of his powers of persuasion to get the Olympics in Chicago. I thought, well, great. It's worked pretty well so far with his healthcare plan. Good luck there." --David Letterman

"Do you folks remember Andy Williams? Fantastic singer. He says that President Obama is following Marxist theory. I said, 'That's interesting. I think I'm going to wait and see what the Andrews Sisters say.'" --David Letterman

"This is the best news I've heard in a long time. The CIA announced a brand new plan to capture Osama bin Laden. They're going to invite him to Zurich, Switzerland, to have him pick up a lifetime achievement award." --David Letterman
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Justices take on potentially landmark gun rights cases

Washington DC - Setting the stage for a dramatic battle over gun rights, the Supreme Court accepted an appeal challenging the ability of state and local governments to enforce strict limits on handguns and other weapons. At issue is whether the constitutional “right of the people to keep and bear arms” applies to local gun control ordinances, or only to federal restrictions. The appeal was filed by a community activist in Chicago who sought a handgun for protection from gangs....More---Follow On Twitter----Premium Domain Names

Special Health Care for Congress

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