"According to Men's Health magazine, 21 percent of men surveyed would rather have a sexier nurse than a more competent doctor when they're in the hospital. I say, why not have both? The government's paying for it now. Who cares?" –Jay Leno
"Sarah Palin spoke out this week against the health care reform bill, saying, 'Elections have consequences.' Well, of course, elections have consequences. That's why right now, instead of being vice president of the United States, she's trying to get a reality show on the Animal Planet." –Jay Leno
"They're now looking into whether cosmic rays from outer space could be responsible for causing Priuses to accelerate. What, is Toyota blaming Klingons now?" –Jay Leno
"Here's something amazing: A North Carolina jury, this week, awarded $9 million to a jilted wife, from the other woman. The other woman has to pay $9 million to the wife for breaking up her marriage. Wait, do you realize how historic this is? Guys, for the first time in history, women are agreeing it's not the guy's fault. It's her fault! This is what men have been saying for years. Poor John Edwards. He was tricked." –Jay LenoFollow On Twitter
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