"There's more crazy news coming out of the auto industry. Today, Nissan recalled over half a million cars with faulty brakes and fuel gauges. Toyota was like, 'just half a million? Oh, that's cute.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Karl Rove's new memoir, 'Courage and Consequence,' is coming out next week. Not sure if 'Courage and Consequence' is how most people would describe the Bush years, but I guess it does sound better than 'Oopsies.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Scientists in Britain have developed a new camera that can identify a terrorist by the shape of their nose. Yeah, it's all part of the new technology called 'racism.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"A new report found that a line of cocaine is now cheaper than a cup of coffee. Although, if you're choosing to snort coke instead of drinking coffee in the morning, it was never really about the money, was it?" –Jimmy FallonFollow On Twitter
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