President Obama finally showed his birth certificate and it turns out he was born in Hawaii, of all places." –Jimmy Kimmel
“These people could have personally witnessed him being born out of an apple pie, in the middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the National Anthem – and they’d still think he was a Kenyan Muslim." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Next up, we ought to say we don’t believe he’s a man and refuse to let it go until he releases his penis.” –Jimmy Kimmel
"I’m surprised Donald Trump isn’t investigating whether Hawaii is an official state. A lot of vowels over there and not enough consonants." –Jimmy Kimmel
“Sarah Palin has written two books, her daughter Bristol has a book coming out – and now Levi Johnston is writing one too. Who would’ve ever guessed that America’s greatest literary dynasty would come out of an igloo?" –Jimmy Kimmel
"Levi and the publisher already have a title worked out for the book. It’s called 'I Need Money' by Levi Johnston.” –Jimmy Kimmel
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