Funny Election Jokes by Jay Leno

"Congratulations to President Obama on being re-elected president of the United States. Turns out it is not all bad news for the Republicans. It seems that depression is covered by Obamacare." –Jay Leno

 "Exit polls show that President Obama did well with women, beating Romney by 11 binders." –Jay Leno

 "Some more good news – the president announced today he is not going to raise taxes on the entire 1 percent, just Donald Trump." –Jay Leno

 "Trump is not giving up. When it was announced that President Obama easily won the Electoral College, Trump demanded to see Obama's Electoral College records." –Jay Leno

 "Donald Trump is starting to lose it. At one point last night on Twitter, he called for revolution since Obama won. The man's a billionaire who owns golf courses, okay. You don't call for revolution. Billionaires are the first ones beheaded during a revolution." –Jay Leno

 "Vice President Joe Biden said now that the election is over, he's going to take a vacation. He's been vice president for four years. That is a vacation!" –Jay Leno

 "In a stage show Madonna urged her audience to vote for President Obama. You know what' s unbelievable? Madonna has been right in every election since Calvin Coolidge." –Jay Leno

 "This morning the stock met plunged over 300 points. You know why? Romney pulled his money out." –Jay Leno

 "Actually I thought Mitt Romney was very gracious last night. He gave a very touching concession speech. And the good news for Romney is that he can still run for president of the Cayman Islands." –Jay Leno

In critical Ohio, Obama rips Romney ad on auto industry as 'scare' tactic

Romney, delivering what his campaign described as his closing argument to vot­ ers, warned at a rally in Wisconsin that another debt-ceiling standoff would soon follow if Obama received a second term, leading to a possible government shut­ down and default on debts.
via washington post

Video-Hank Williams Jr. after he compares Obama to Hitler

ESPN pulls Hank Williams Jr. after he compares Obama to Hitler

Hank Williams Jr., the singer whose various videos for the hit song "All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Monday Night" has served as the intro to "Monday Night Football" for 23 seasons, compared President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler during a Monday morning appearance on "Fox and Friends." The statement led to ESPN pulling his popular intro segment, best known to fans for its "Are you ready for some football?" ending, for Monday night's game between the Indianapolis Colts and Tampa Bay Buccaneers.More

Obama in diapers sign draws 60 protesters

New Orleans, Louisiana – A group of about 60 people protested outside a New Orleans home where a man mounted a sign depicting President Barack Obama in a diaper. The protesters, who included former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, gathered outside Timmy Riley’s Calhoun Street home to demand the removal of the sign, which they said is disrespectful to Obama and African-Americans in general. However, the sign remained in place and police said Riley has the right to express himself.  more  

Obama to give major jobs speech (AP)

AP - Seeking a jolt for a wilting economy, President Barack Obama will give a major speech in early September to unveil new ideas for speeding up.AP source: Obama to give major jobs speech (AP)

Homeless man tries to move in with Obama

Washington DC - A man has been detained by the Secret Service after jumping a fence at the White House. James Dirk Crudup, 41, scaled the fence on the north side of the White House between 7:30 and 8 p.m. Crudup was quickly taken into custody after scaling the fence. A backpack Crudup was carrying was confiscated by Secret Service. The contents of the backpack were investigated by Secret Service and D.C. Fire and EMS. Nothing hazardous was found. According to the Secret Service, Crudup is homeless.  More

President’s men fill up ‘The Beast’ at BP

The armoured limousine, nicknamed “The Beast”, arrived with six other vehicles and police escort at a BP petrol station on Vauxhall Bridge Road during the president’s state visit to London. Workers at a garage in Pimlico today told of their astonishment after Barack Obama’s car and the presidential entourage pulled up for refuelling. The armoured limousine, nicknamed “The Beast”, arrived with six other vehicles and police escort at a BP petrol station on Vauxhall Bridge Road during the president’s state visit to London. Onlookers said the cars took up the entire forecourt when they arrived. They also told how the Cadillac - which is fitted with bullet-proof glass and has an armoured body, its own oxygen supply and even samples of the President’s blood - took up a bay and a half while Mr Obama’s driver filled it it up with unleaded.  More

Peter Fonda encourages grandchildren to shoot Obama

Cannes - Peter Fonda, the star of Easy Rider, suggested to Mandrake that he was encouraging his grandchildren to shoot President Barack Obama. “I’m training my grandchildren to use long-range rifles,” said the actor, 71. “For what purpose? Well, I’m not going to say the words ‘Barack Obama’, but…” He added, enigmatically: “It’s more of a thought process than an actuality, but we are heading for a major conflict between the haves and the have nots. I came here many years ago with a biker movie and we stopped a war. Now, it’s about starting the world. “I prefer to not to use the words, ‘let’s stop something’. I prefer to say, ‘let’s start something, let’s start the world’.”  More

Obama Looks For Roots In Ireland

"You discover a lot about yourself when you're running for president," Barack Obama said on the campaign trail in 2008. "It was brought to my attention last year that my ...Obama Looks For Roots In Ireland

Rush Limbaugh's Surprising Reaction To Obama's Handling Of Bin Laden

Huffington Post-Rush Limbaugh did something he rarely does: he praised President Obama on his

Monday show for the death of Osama bin Laden.
"We need to open the program today by congratulating President Obama," he said. "President Obama has done something extremely effective, and when he does, this needs to be pointed out."...More

Jimmy Kimmel Political Jokes about Obama and Trump

"

President Obama finally showed his birth certificate and it turns out he was born in Hawaii, of all places." –Jimmy Kimmel

“These people could have personally witnessed him being born out of an apple pie, in the middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the National Anthem – and they’d still think he was a Kenyan Muslim." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Next up, we ought to say we don’t believe he’s a man and refuse to let it go until he releases his penis.” –Jimmy Kimmel

"I’m surprised Donald Trump isn’t investigating whether Hawaii is an official state. A lot of vowels over there and not enough consonants." –Jimmy Kimmel

“Sarah Palin has written two books, her daughter Bristol has a book coming out – and now Levi Johnston is writing one too. Who would’ve ever guessed that America’s greatest literary dynasty would come out of an igloo?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"Levi and the publisher already have a title worked out for the book. It’s called 'I Need Money' by Levi Johnston.” –Jimmy Kimmel

Hawaii senator alleges Obama hiding true father

25 April, 2011 In a new twist to the birther debate, a state senator from Hawaii alleged that the reason US President Barack Obama has not release a full birth certificate is not because he was ...Hawaii senator alleges Obama hiding true father

Costly gasoline clouds Obama re-election prospects (AP)

AP - With gas prices climbing and little relief in sight, President Barack Obama is scrambling to get ahead of the latest potential obstacle to his...Costly gasoline clouds Obama re-election prospects (AP)

Jay Leno Political Jokes about Obama and Moammar Gadhafi

"President Obama came back from South America and couldn’t get into the White House. The door was locked. So he called Chris Brown on his cell phone to find the best way to break a window." –Jay Leno

"General Electric announced it made a profit of $14 billion last year and paid zero in U.S. taxes. How does this make Wesley Snipes feel? Had he just been making light bulbs instead of movies he wouldn’t be in prison now." –Jay Leno

"According to the latest reports, medical marijuana sales in this country are now approaching $2 billion a year. I had no idea that so many people had glaucoma. Apparently this is an epidemic." –Jay Leno

"The Eiffel Tower was evacuated after a suspicious package was found. French investigators were baffled by this object for hours. It turns out it was just a can of deodorant. They had never seen anything like that." –Jay Leno

"Moammar Gadhafi says of the no-fly zone, 'In the short term we will beat them, and in the long term we will beat them.' Which is Libyan for 'Bring it. Winning. Bring it. Winning.'" –Jay Leno

Obama on Libya: 'We have a responsibility to act' (AP)

AP - Vigorously defending American attacks in Libya, President Barack Obama declared Monday night that the United States intervened to prevent a...Obama on Libya: 'We have a responsibility to act' (AP)

Obama, gay marriage, the constitution and the Crackerjack prize

This one is a little bit deep in the legal weeds, but I think this provides fascinating background into Obama and the Justice Department's decision announced yesterday about the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage A..more

Obama is not the leader of the United States, claims Republican Senator

Republican Senator from South Carolina Jim Demint has said that President Barack Obama isn't the leader of the United States, nor have any of his predecessors been the country's true ...Obama is not the leader of the United States, claims Republican Senator

Oprah wants respect for Obama

Chicago - Oprah called on President Obama’s critics to “show some level of respect.” “I feel that everybody has a learning curve, and I feel that the reason why I was willing to step out for him was because I believed in his integrity and I believed in his heart,” the influential TV host said on MSNBC  in Chicago.  Of the negative mood of the country, Oprah added, “I think everybody complaining ought to try it for once.” She said the presidency is a position that “holds a sense of authority and governance over us all,” and that “even if you’re not in support of his policies, there needs to be a certain level of respect.”  More…

Obama: People Who Hate Me Don't Know Me

President Barack Obama interviewed by Fox News' Bill O'Reilly at the White House, Jan. 6, 2011. (Fox News) (CBS/AP) WASHINGTON - President Barack Obama says he doesn't take it personally when people say they hate him....more