Jon Stewart Political Jokes and Video-7/14/09

"As I watched the press conference, I realized finally we have a candidate for the people who loved George Bush's certainty but were bothered by his rationality and executive experience." --Jon Stewart, on Sarah Palin's resignation

"Yeah, I guess you could stay in your job and overcome the distractions and difficulties that have come from your national candidacy, but that's what dead quitty fish would do. And you're no dead quitty fish! You are leaving the water, and living on land, like smart fish! You're quitting." --Jon Stewart

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"Take it from a guy who's quit a lot of jobs. You're quitting. I've done the whole 'dead fish' thing myself. 'Hey, f*** this bakery! I'm no dead fish! I'm outta here.'" --Jon Stewart

"As expected, the news of her resignation has done nothing but help ex-Governor Palin. 71% of Republicans now say they would pick her as their presidential candidate. And from the look of today's New York Times [on screen: footage of the New York Times front page, which features Palin signing her name on a baby's body] -- What?! The whole world has gone mad! She's signing babies! She's kissing speeches! She's shaking hands with photo ops and giving out votes to campaign buttons. Nothing this woman does makes any sense whatsoever. Where do I vote? Palin '07! Palin '07!" --Jon Stewart

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