Obama about to launch his reelection campaign. It could cost $1 billion. (The Christian Science Monitor)

The Christian Science Monitor - Is anybody surprised that Barack Obama will run for reelection next year? Of course not.more

Jokes About Barack Obama by Jay Leno

''Barack Obama's mother-in-law might be moving into the White House with him. Joe Biden was right. Hostile forces will test him in the first few months.'' —Jay Leno

''How many watched the President's news conference last night? He got a little testy there, you know. When he was asked why he waited three days to speak out against the AIG bonuses, President Obama said he likes to know what he's talking about before he speaks. So, yet another reversal of the Bush policies.'' —Jay Leno

''You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: The Republican party.'' —Jay Leno

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Barack Obama sex doll for sale in China

China - A doll wearing a dark blue suit and red tie, and with Mr Obama’s face carefully screen-printed onto its head, was exhibited at the recent 8th Sex Culture Festival in the southern city of Guangzhou. The doll was photographed by Chinese state media nestling behind several other standard plastic female toys. Mr Obama is widely popular in China, and a “Maobama” t-shirt, bearing an image of his face crossed with a portrait of Chairman Mao, has become a best-seller....More.....
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Saturday Night Live Mocks Barack Obama Nobel Peace Prize Win

Saturday Night Live Mocks Barack Obama
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President Obama Quotes

Some very good quotes from President Obama, Some strange Quotes

A good compromise, a good piece of legislation, is like a good sentence; or a good piece of music. Everybody can recognize it. They say, 'Huh. It works. It makes sense.'
Barack Obama

Al Qaeda is still a threat. We cannot pretend somehow that because Barack Hussein Obama got elected as president, suddenly everything is going to be OK.
Barack Obama

America and Islam are not exclusive and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles of justice and progress, tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.
Barack Obama

Americans... still believe in an America where anything's possible - they just don't think their leaders do.
Barack Obama

As a nuclear power - as the only nuclear power to have used a nuclear weapon - the United States has a moral responsibility to act.
Barack Obama

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
Barack Obama

Community colleges play an important role in helping people transition between careers by providing the retooling they need to take on a new career.
Barack Obama

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.
Barack Obama

I can make a firm pledge, under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes.
Barack Obama

I cannot swallow whole the view of Lincoln as the Great Emancipator.
Barack Obama

I consider it part of my responsibility as President of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear.
Barack Obama

I don't care whether you're driving a hybrid or an SUV. If you're headed for a cliff, you have to change direction. That's what the American people called for in November, and that's what we intend to deliver.
Barack Obama

I don't oppose all wars. What I am opposed to is a dumb war. What I am opposed to is a rash war.
Barack Obama

I don't take a dime of their [lobbyist] money, and when I am president, they won't find a job in my White House.
Barack Obama

I found this national debt, doubled, wrapped in a big bow waiting for me as I stepped into the Oval Office.
Barack Obama

I know my country has not perfected itself. At times, we've struggled to keep the promise of liberty and equality for all of our people. We've made our share of mistakes, and there are times when our actions around the world have not lived up to our best intentions.
Barack Obama

I opposed the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996. It should be repealed and I will vote for its repeal on the Senate floor. I will also oppose any proposal to amend the U.S. Constitution to ban gays and lesbians from marrying.
Barack Obama

I think it is important for Europe to understand that even though I am president and George Bush is not president, Al Qaeda is still a threat.
Barack Obama

I think when you spread the wealth around it's good for everybody.
Barack Obama

I will cut taxes - cut taxes - for 95 percent of all working families, because, in an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle class.
Barack Obama

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Funny Political Jokes from Conan O'Brien

"It's an emotional day. A lot of us are still mourning the loss of one of America's most entertaining figures, who left us all too soon. But don't worry, folks, Sarah Palin will be back. Comedians everywhere are praying." --Conan O'Brien

"Speaking of Sarah Palin, Senator John McCain was reportedly surprised by Sarah Palin's resignation as governor of Alaska. He said he was surprised. McCain was also surprised to find that television now comes in color." --Conan O'Brien

"Today, in Russia, President Obama delivered a speech to the graduating class of Moscow's new economic school. That's right. The title of his speech was 'Can We Borrow 4 Trillion Rubles, Please?'" --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, President Obama met with Russian President Dimitry Medvedev. This morning, he met with Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. Then, this afternoon, he met with former President Mikhail Gorbachev. At the end of each meeting, Obama would twist the Russian leader at their waist, then the next slightly smaller leader would pop out." --Conan O'Brien

"General Motors had some good news. General Motors says it's struggling to meet demand for its new 2010 Chevrolet Camaro. G.M. said they're 'sorry, but both of you are going to have to wait a little longer.'" --Conan O'BrienFollow On Twitter----Premium Domain Names----Funny Political Cartoons

A Political Roast With Jay Leno Political Jokes

"Welcome to 'The Tonight Show.' You sound happier than Barack Obama when he found out Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton both paid their taxes." --Jay Leno

"I think Barack Obama is a genius. I think this is part of the plan. Do you ever notice when Barack Obama nominates someone, the first thing they do is pay their taxes? He's found a way to pay off the deficit. Nominate every single person in the country one at a time, until they pay off the deficit." --Jay Leno

"As you know, Tom Daschle withdrew his name to be in Obama's cabinet, due to IRS problems. Yeah, he said, 'I will not be a distraction.' See, distraction is Washington talk for, 'Uh-oh, there's a lot more crap you don't know about yet.'" --Jay Leno

"Wasn't it just a couple months ago, these people were making fun of Joe the Plumber for not paying his taxes?" --Jay Leno

"Daschle says that his problems with the IRS were unintentional. Well, of course they were unintentional. He never intended to get caught." --Jay Leno

"I guess the Democrats think IRS means, 'I'm really sorry.'" --Jay Leno

"And you know that woman here in California who just had the eight kids and has six more at home?' Well, today, Tom Daschle proposed to her. He's not in love, he just needs the deductions. 'Please marry me, please!'" --Jay Leno

"The White House issued a statement today saying that the reason their nominees are having such trouble is that the new White House has set the bar very high. See, that shows you what's wrong with politics in this country. That's what the government considers setting the bar high, having to pay taxes like everybody else in America." --Jay Leno

"And today, President Obama announced a salary cap of $500,000 for executives at banks and companies that have received taxpayer bailout money. And you know — it is good. But I'll tell you something, you can tell a lot of these CEOs don't get it. They said, 'Well, that's $500,000 a month, right?'" --Jay Leno

"And Wells Fargo, who got almost $25 billion in bailout money, has canceled a pricey 12-day corporate trip to Las Vegas. And I think they learned their lesson, because they really scaled things back. They're not doing Vegas anymore. Now, it's a one-day pie eating contest in Laughlin." --Jay Leno

"And Citigroup, who received a huge bailout from the government, owns the naming rights to the New York Mets' new stadium. It is currently called Citi Field, but because of Barack Obama's crackdown on the Federal bailout money, Citigroup will legally have to change the name of the stadium to Money Grubbing Bastards Field." --Jay Leno

"Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi recently said that every month that we do not have an economic recovery package, '500 million Americans lose their jobs.' I think the Botox is starting to seep into her brain." --Jay Leno

"And the US Postal Service says they may cut postal service from six days to five days a week. They say they're losing money because people aren't using the postal service as much as they used to. If you'd like to complain, you can e-mail the complaint to uspostalservice.com." --Jay Leno

The new US energy secretary predicts agriculture in California will disappear in this century because of global warming. He said people in California will no longer grow crops, except those who are growing them in their basements, attics, and garages." --Jay Leno
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Funny Political Jokes From David Letterman

"Either today or yesterday, Barack Obama said Americans are 'sick and tired' of people 'being rewarded for failure.' Is he talking about me?" --David Letterman

"I'm sorry you folks weren't here last night, because you missed a big show. Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was here. You know, it's funny. The audience really liked him, but they impeached me." --David Letterman

"But it was fun to have Rod Blagojevich on the program, because for one night, I was not the creepiest guy on the show." --David Letterman

"Ladies and gentlemen, while you were applauding that joke, another Obama nominee dropped out." --David Letterman

"Have you been following this? Obama has now lost two nominees because of tax trouble. So good luck to the new Health and Human Services nominee, Wesley Snipes." --David Letterman

"Former Senator Tom Daschle from South Dakota had to withdraw because he forgot to pay taxes. You know, I believe the guy because in South Dakota, there are so many distractions." --David Letterman

"How about that Dick Cheney? He's out of office, but he's still chomping at the bit. You know what I'm talking about? Daschle embarrasses Obama so today Obama gets a call from Cheney, 'Hey, let me waterboard him.'" --David Letterman

"I was stunned by the Daschle story because we don't expect Democrats to cheat on their taxes. No, we expect Democrats to cheat on their wives. That's how this is supposed to go!" --David Letterman

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Fun Presidential Facts and Political Trivia

Barack Obama is our 44th president, but there actually have only been 43 presidents: Cleveland was elected for two nonconsecutive terms and is counted twice, as our 22nd and 24th president.

Eight Presidents were born British subjects: Washington, J. Adams, Jefferson, Madison, Monroe, J. Q. Adams, Jackson, and W. Harrison.

Nine Presidents never attended college: Washington, Jackson, Van Buren, Taylor, Fillmore, Lincoln, A. Johnson, Cleveland, and Truman. The college that has the most presidents as alumni (six in total) is Harvard: J. Adams, J. Q. Adams, T. Roosevelt, F. Roosevelt, Kennedy, G. W. Bush (business school), and Barack Obama (law school). Yale is a close second, with five presidents as alumni: Taft, Ford (law school), G.H.W. Bush, Clinton (law school), and G. W. Bush.

Presidents who would be considered "Washington outsiders" (i.e., the 18 presidents who never served in Congress) are: Washington, J. Adams, Jefferson, Taylor, Grant, Arthur, Cleveland, T. Roosevelt, Taft, Wilson, Coolidge, Hoover, F. Roosevelt, Eisenhower, Carter, Reagan, Clinton, and G. W. Bush.

The most common religious affiliation among presidents has been Episcopalian, followed by Presbyterian.



The ancestry of 43 presidents is limited to the following seven heritages, or some combination thereof: Dutch, English, Irish, Scottish, Welsh, Swiss, or German.


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Political Roast:Late Night Political Jokes Conan O'Brien

"This week President Bush hosted the annual White House Hanukkah party. Yeah, there was an awkward moment when Bush made a wish and blew out all eight candles." --Conan O'Brien

Time magazine has selected their person of the year. Guess what, it's President-elect Barack Obama. Yeah, ironically, Ebony magazine announced their person of the year, and it's Ed Begley Jr." --Conan O'Brien

"Gay leaders are furious at Barack Obama because he picked an anti-gay minister to deliver a prayer during the inauguration ceremony. Yeah. Gay leaders are also furious at Obama because the tie he's planning to wear is all wrong." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush is hosting a lunch next month with President-elect Obama and all the former presidents. Isn't that cool? Yeah. Bush said, 'I invited all 43 guys, but only four responded.' He doesn't know what happened." --Conan O'Brien

"According to a new survey that just came out, the most admired profession is doctor. Doctor is the most admired profession. Yeah. The least admired profession? Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich's barber." --Conan O'Brien

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The 25 Dumbest Quotes of 2008-Idiotic Political Quotes

25. "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." —President George W. Bush, in an interview with the Jerusalem Post, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

24. "I've now been in 57 states — I think one left to go." —Barack Obama, at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon, May 9, 2008

23. "[T]hey're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." —Sarah Palin, getting the vice president's constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does, interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado, Oct. 21, 2008



22. "There was an energy bill on the floor of the Senate loaded down with goodies, billions for the oil companies, and it was sponsored by Bush and Cheney. You know who voted for it? You might never know. That one." —John McCain, referring to Barack Obama during the second presidential debate, Nashville, Tennessee, Oct. 7, 2008

21. "Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya." —Joe Biden, to Missouri state Sen. Chuck Graham, who is in a wheelchair, Columbia, Missouri, Sept. 12, 2008

20. "When I was in college, we used to take a popcorn popper, because that was the only thing they would let us use in the dorm, and we would fry squirrels in a popcorn popper in the dorm room." —Mick Huckabee, interview on MSNBC's "Morning Joe," Jan. 16, 2008

19. "See, Barack's been talking down to black people on this faith-based...I want to cut his nuts off." —Jesse Jackson, caught on an open mic whispering to a colleague about Barack Obama, whom he was criticizing for lecturing African Americans about taking more responsibility for raising children, July 6, 2008

18. "We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California." —Hillary Clinton, rejecting calls for her to drop out of the Democratic presidential race, citing the 1968 assassination of Robert F. Kennedy as evidence that the lengthy Democratic nominating process was not unprecedented, interview with the editorial board of South Dakota's Sioux Falls Argus-Leader, May 23, 2008

17. "I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody." —Barack Obama, defending his tax plan to Joe the Plumber, who argued that Obama's policy hurts small-business owners like himself, Toledo, Ohio, Oct. 12, 2008

16. (tie) "So?" —Vice President Dick Cheney, responding to an ABC News correspondent who cited a poll showing that most Americans do not believe the Iraq War was worth fighting, March 19, 2008

And:

"So what?" –President Bush, responding to a an ABC News correspondent who pointed out that Al Qaeda wasn't a threat in Iraq until after the U.S. invaded, Dec. 14, 2008

15. "For the first time in my adult lifetime I am really proud of my country. And not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry for change." —Michelle Obama, Madison, Wisconsin, Feb. 18, 2008

14. "You know, I think you may have noticed that Senator Obama's supporters have been saying some pretty nasty things about Western Pennsylvania lately. And you know, I couldn't agree with them more. I couldn't disagree with you. I couldn't agree with you more than the fact that Western Pennsylvania is the most patriotic, most god-loving, most, most patriotic part of America, and this is a great part of the country." —John McCain Moon Township, Penn., Oct. 21, 2008

13. "Make it a hundred...That would be fine with me." –John McCain, to a questioner who asked if he supported President Bush's vision for keeping U.S. troops in Iraq for 50 years, Derry, New Hampshire, Jan. 3, 2008

12. "We have sort of become a nation of whiners." —McCain economic adviser Phil Gramm, on worries about the slumping economy, adding that the current downturn is a "mental recession," Washington Times interview, July 9, 2008

11. "Can I explain to you what happened? First of all it happened during a period after she was in remission from cancer." —former Sen. John Edwards, on cheating on his wife, ABC News interview, Aug. 8, 2008

10. "I think — I'll have my staff get to you. It's condominiums where — I'll have them get to you." —John McCain after being asked how many houses he and his wife, Cindy, own, interview with Politico, Las Cruces, N.M., Aug. 20, 2008

9. "Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." —Joe Biden, speaking at a town hall meeting in Nashua, New Hampshire, Sept. 10, 2008

8. "We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. ... We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation." —Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in Greensoboro, N.C., Oct. 16, 2008

7. "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." –President George W. Bush, in parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008

6. "It's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations." –Barack Obama, speaking at a San Francisco fundraiser about his troubles winning over some small-town, working-class voters, April 11, 2008

5. "Well, let's see. There's — of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but —" —Sarah Palin, unable to name a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

4. "I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base." –Hillary Clinton on visiting Bosnia in 1996, contradicting other accounts that said there was no threat of gunfire. Clinton later said she "misspoke"

3. "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." —Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS's Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008

2. "I'm just not giving it up for f***in' nothing. I'm not gonna do it. And, and I can always use it. I can parachute me there." ... "Give this motherf****r Obama his senator? F**k him. For nothing. F**k him.'" —Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, recorded in a federal wiretap trying to sell Barack Obama's Senate seat. The day before his arrest, he invited authorities to tape his conversations, saying there is "nothing but sunshine hanging over me."

1. "Our economy, I think, is still — the fundamentals of our economy are strong." —John McCain, Jacksonville, Fla., Sept. 15, 2008

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Barely Political-T.I.- WHATEVER YOU LIKE SPOOF!

Barely Political-T.I.- WHATEVER YOU LIKE SPOOF!
NEVER in my life seen a candidate win so quickly. My original spoof of T.I.'s "whatever you like" as BARACK OBAMA the first Black and 44th President of the United States!Read More To Watch Video!

Barely Political-T.I.- WHATEVER YOU LIKE SPOOF!





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Barack Obama on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

Barack Obama on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Little Did Jay Leno know he was interveiwing the next President of the United States! Read More to Watch Video!


Barack Obama on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

Barack Obama appears on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. October 17, 2007




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MadTv-John McCain Ad/Barack Obama Ad

Very Funny-MadTv-John McCain Ad/Barack Obama Ad
Read More to watch funny video!


MadTv-John McCain Ad/Barack Obama Ad



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COMPARE THE CANDIDATES

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Is Obama aunt from Kenya living in US illegally ?

Obama aunt from Kenya living in US illegally - Was instructed to leave the United States by a U.S. immigration judge

WASHINGTON - Barack Obama's aunt, a Kenyan woman who has been quietly living in public housing in Boston, is in the United States illegally after an immigration judge rejected her request for asylum four years ago, The Associated Press has learned.
Zeituni Onyango, 56, referred to as "Aunti Zeituni" in Obama's memoir, was instructed to leave the United States by a U.S. immigration judge who denied her asylum request, a person familiar with the matter told the AP late Friday. This person spoke on condition of anonymity because no one was authorized to discuss Onyango's case. It was not immediately clear how Onyango might have qualified for public housing with a standing deportation order. More...
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Payback Time: Journalists From Three Newspapers Booted From Obama's Plane

Journalists from three major newspapers that endorsed John McCain have reportedly been booted from Barack Obama's campaign plane for the final leg of the presidential race.
The Washington Times reported Friday that it was notified of the Obama campaign's decision Thursday evening -- even though the paper has covered Obama from the start. Executive Editor John Solomon told FOXNews.com that the Obama campaign said it didn't have enough seats on the plane, but "I don't think the explanation makes sense to us." "We've been traveling since 2007 with him. ... We're a relevant newspaper -- every day we break news," Solomon said. "And to suddenly be kicked off the plane for people who haven't covered it as aggressively or thoroughly as we are ... it sort of feels unfair." More...

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Man commits suicide - Leaves note: Obama take care of my family

EL PASO - A man who jumped 60 feet to his death from the Spaghetti Bowl on Thursday left a note with a message for Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama.
A note to "Obama" was found in the man's car, which was parked on the top ramp of the Spaghetti Bowl. Officials offered no further explanation nor interpreted the note's meaning. About 7:45 a.m., police responded to a report that the 52-year-old El Paso man had jumped off the uppermost ramp of the Spaghetti Bowl. His body was found on I-10 west just before the Copia Street exit. His name was not released.
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Newspaper: “Obama Wins!” is the headline of the edition on newsstands now

SANTA FE, New Mexico – For The New Mexico Sun News it is either a major scoop or “Dewey Beats Truman” déjà vu 60 years later.
“Obama Wins!” is the headline of the edition on newsstands now, complete with “special collector’s edition” in red bold typeface.
The Sun News is a bi-monthly newspaper and its Oct 26-Nov 8 issue had to hit the streets, and the newsstands, before the election. So the editors decided to make a leap of faith and declare Democrat Barack Obama the winner. More...
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If Barack Obama Was Assassinated America Would Implode!

Barack Obama has been a symbol of hope for the middle class and lower class America.

He is the only person that can save us from the Wall Street Terrorist!

If he was to be assassinated there will be a major division in this country. The country could be thrown into a revolution!

This is the second plot to assassinate him that has been discovered!


1. At the DNC-Four people are being questioned about a suspected racist sniper plot to assassinate US presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Three men and a woman have been arrested and FBI and secret service agents are investigating claims that there were plans to use a high-powered rifle with a telescopic sight to shoot Mr Obama at the Democratic Party's four-day convention in Denver.

2.

Two Men Full Of Hate! Killing Spree Planned!

WASHINGTON – Two white supremacists allegedly plotted to go on a national killing spree, shooting and decapitating black people and ultimately targeting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, federal authorities said Monday.

In all, the two men whom officials described as neo-Nazi skinheads planned to kill 88 people — 14 by beheading, according to documents unsealed in U.S. District Court in Jackson, Tenn. The numbers 88 and 14 are symbolic in the white supremacist community.

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