Jimmy Fallon Political Jokes About Palin, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Ohio Congressman Bill Johnson said his Twitter account was hacked yesterday after an image of a naked man was posted on his page. When the Lord taketh a Weiner he giveth a Johnson." –Jimmy Fallon

"Spain’s running of the bulls is not nearly as scary as the U.S. event, the running of Sarah Palin." –Jimmy Fallon

"It's rumored that Arnold Schwarzenegger is working on a memoir. Yeah, it's apparently over 500 pages long — and that's just the dedication to his kids." –Jimmy Fallon

"The Treasury Department is shifting from paper to electronic savings bonds next year. But don't worry — the electronic bonds will be just as worthless as the paper ones." –Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Political Jokes About Weiner and Palin

"Democrats in Congress have been distancing themselves from the Anthony Weiner scandal. Just to be safe, everyone is staying a good 6 to 8 inches away at all times." –Jimmy Fallon

"There has been growing pressure for Anthony Weiner to resign. When asked for a comment, Weiner said, "Look, I'm not leaving ... but I am packing." –Jimmy Fallon

"A new study found that being bored can be good for your brain. Which explains that new campaign slogan, 'Mitt Romney: I'm Good For Your Brain.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke is predicting that the economy will pick up in the second half of the year. So you know what that means: nothing." –Jimmy Fallon

"A woman in Florida called 911 after she found a bear swimming in her backyard pool. That's right, there was a bear in the water. Or as Sarah Palin calls that, 'soup.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon Political Jokes About President Obama and Palin

"Arkansas Congressman Steve Womack has proposed cutting funding for President Obama's teleprompter. Oh man, when Obama finds out he's going to be speechless." –Jimmy Fallon

"Borders Books has filed for bankruptcy and will close all 200 of its superstores. When Sarah Palin heard that she went, 'Finally, we're closing the borders.'" –Jimmy Fallon

Nonprofit Cancels Palin Talk Over Safety Concerns

February 5, 2011; Source:Denver Post | Just a day after announcing that Sarah Palin would be its keynote speaker at a May fundraiser in Glendale, Colo...more

Jay Leno's Political Jokes about Egypt, Palin and Hillary

"The big rumor: Sarah Palin said she may run for president. I understand there's an opening in Egypt." –Jay Leno

"President Mubarak came out of the presidential palace today and saw his shadow; six more weeks of rock throwing." –Jay Leno

"Secretary of state Hillary Clinton said regarding the crises in Egypt that the Obama administration is not advocating or working toward any specific outcome. Same policy they had during the economic crises. Just kind of go along and see what happens." –Jay Leno

"Today Al Gore blamed the current snow storms on global warming. Al Gore said, 'a rise in global temperature creates havoc ranging from hotter dry spells to colder winters, increasing violent storms, flooding, forest fires and loss of endangered species.' And finally Tipper said, 'Al will you just pay the kid for shoveling the walk, please.'" –Jay Leno

Jay Leno Jokes about Palin,Snooki and The Tea Party

"Tea Party rebutter Michele Bachmann is under fire for saying the Founding Fathers eliminated slavery. Sarah Palin is very upset. Another female Republican trying to steal the dumbass vote." –Jay Leno

"Last night, President Obama gave the State of the Union address. Vice President Biden called it a great speech. House Speaker John Boehner called it a real tearjerker." –Jay Leno

"President Obama said our country is facing another Sputnik moment, which is well over the heads of a lot of young people. They think Sputnik is Snooki's older sister." –Jay Leno

"A social networking revolution has started in Saudi Arabia. Over 10 million Saudis are now online. In fact, the most popular social networking site for women in Saudi Arabia: 'Cover-Your-Facebook.'" –Jay Leno

Bill Maher Joke About Snooki,Palin and Republicans

"Why are we listening to a reality TV star anyway? That's all she is. Can I check in with Snooki and the Kate Moss?" –Bill Maher

"Palin has now agreed to be the keynote speaker next month at a hunter’s convention in Las Vegas. Uh, Siegfried and Roy, if you’re listening, I would put those tigers in an undisclosed location." –Bill Maher

"John Boehner skipped the memorial to attend a fundraising cocktail party. He said it's not that he doesn't care, just that it was sad and he's one of those men who's uncomfortable showing emotions in public." –Bill Maher

"A lot of the Republicans, I must say, I give it up to them, they applauded Obama's speech. Some of them said, I swear to God, it was too good, said it was just a little too good. They said, if you want us to love a black man with a golden voice, he'd better be a homeless guy, begging for change." –Bill Maher

"Since Tom DeLay has done only two things since leaving politics – 'Dancing with the Stars,' and now prison – somebody must tell him there are easier ways to have sex with men." –Bill Maher

Palin explains 'blood libel' comment (AP)

AP - Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, defending herself against criticism following the Tucson, Ariz., shootings, said Monday that she used the term.more

Political Jokes| Jay Leno rips on Palin,Tom DeLay,Jersey Shore

"Sarah Palin's reality show will not be returning as she contemplates a possible run for president in 2012. When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States." –Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin should pick The Situation from 'Jersey Shore' as her vice president. That way, we can get rid of two reality shows at once." –Jay Leno

"Chinese President Hu Jintao will be at the White House next week. The good news is, he has no plans to foreclose. We can stay another month." –Jay Leno

"Former U.S. House Majority Leader, Tom DeLay, has been sentenced to three years in prison. One year for money laundering and two more for his performance on 'Dancing with the Stars.'" –Jay Leno

"Sad news. It looks like 'Sarah Palin's Alaska' won't be back for a second year. How does that make her feel? She was governor, almost vice president. She gets one year. Snooki's on her third year." –Jay Leno

"Due to the recession there are now 15,000 less lawyers. Nobody ever talks about the good things that happen because of the recession." –Jay Leno

"Police are looking for a man in Phoenix who robbed a bank and told the teller he wanted the money in twenties, forties and sixties. Authorities believe he could be one of President Obama's economic advisers." –Jay Leno

Political Jokes Jimmy Kimmel on Michelle Obama and Palin

"You wouldn't know it in Los Angeles, but it's freezing in much of the country, with temperatures in the 20s in parts of Florida. I don't know how she did it, but the whole country has turned into 'Sarah Palin's Alaska.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"Michelle Obama said that obesity is a national security threat because 1 in 4 young people are too overweight to join the military. Couldn't we just have a separate fat army to fight in countries that don't have hills?" –Jimmy Kimmel

Conan O'Brien Jokes about TSA Scanners, Clinton, and Palin

"People are concerned that the new airport security scanners could lead to pictures of their genitals ending up on the Internet. Apparently no one has told them that without pictures of genitals, there would be no Internet." —Conan O'Brien

"The New Oxford Dictionary has declared Sarah Palin's word 'refudiate' to be the 2010 Word of the Year. Palin was honored and said she would do her best to 'dismangle' the English language." —Conan O'Brien

"Bill Clinton has a cameo in the new 'Hangover 2' movie. When asked why Clinton was in the movie, the producer said, 'There are some things even Mike Tyson won't do.'" —Conan O'Brien

Palin: When Limbaugh says 'retarded' it's fine

According to Sarah Palin, when Rahm Emanuel says "retarded" privately he's "indecent" and should be fired, but when Rush Limbaugh uses it publicly in the same context it's just fine---...More

Neocons Recruiting Palin To Pressure Obama On Afghanistan

Here come the neocons again--and this time with Sarah Palin.


A group of conservative foreign policy advocates--including a bevy of neoconservatives--this week sent President Barack Obama a letter urging him to stand firm in Afghanistan and vowing their support for him (on Afghanistan) if he did so. The letter was organized by the Foreign Policy Initiative, a think tank put together by leading neoconservatives Bill Kristol and Robert Kagan, and signers included the pair and such neocon stalwarts as David Frum, Max Boot, Robert Kagan, John Podhoretz, Clifford May, Danielle Pletka, Randy Scheunemann, Dan Senor, and Gary Schmitt. But two high-profile right-wingers also added their names: Sarah Palin and Karl Rove.--...More

Jimmy Fallon Political Roast of Palin,Sonia Sotomayor and Dick Cheney

"I guess everyone is following Sonia Sotomayor's Supreme Court confirmation hearing. Did you hear what happened yesterday? Her twin nephews fell asleep during the hearings. But in their defense, they were watching a Supreme Court confirmation hearing. What are you supposed to do? Root for it? Start the wave?" --Jimmy Fallon

"Sarah Palin's friends say they are worried about her because she looks frail and her hair is thinning. It's all part of her plan to run for president in 2012 as John McCain." --Jimmy Fallon

"Democrats want an investigation into a secret CIA program that was concealed from Congress by Dick Cheney. The program is so secret, Cheney could tell you about it, but then he'd have to take you hunting." --Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama's teleprompter fell to the ground and shattered yesterday during a speech on the economy. Wow, even speeches about the economy are crashing. That's bad. That's not good." --Jimmy Fallon

"Lauren Conrad -- star of 'The Hills' -- she topped the children's New York Times bestseller list with her book 'L.A. Candy.' As a result, the Department of Education has launched a new program telling kids not to read." --Jimmy Fallon

Follow On Twitter----Premium Domain Names----Funny Political Cartoons

Political Satire-Palin Hoping to be Named Ambassador to Africa

Sarah Palin of Alaska has reached out to President-elect Obama's transition team to indicate her interest in being named "ambassador to the nation of Africa," the governor confirmed today.

Gov. Palin said that although she had planned to continue in her position in Juneau, she was willing to leave the governorship "because Africa is just such a darned important country."

"I have always been very, very interested in the nation of Africa, partly because of it being located where it is," she said. "If you are standing in Africa and you look real close, you can see South Africa."

She added that she had received phone calls encouraging her to vie for the post, including one from French president Nicholas Sarkozy.

In other news from the Palin family, Bristol Palin's fiancé Levi Johnston said he was "totally stoked" about Tuesday night's election returns, calling the results "definitely a game-changer for me."
"The election of Barack Obama means different things to different people," he said. "To me, it means freedom, dude!" ...Borowitz Report

Share It, Post It, Email it!

Funny Comedians----Pics For Myspace----Stupid News

Political Roast Pick-The Daily Show-Wyatt Cenac-Palin Is So Dumb

Political Roast Pick-The Daily Show-Wyatt Cenac-Palin Is So Dumb
Wyatt Cenac can tell you Sarah Palin thinks the alphabet has 22 letters
Read More Tom Watch Video

Political Roast Pick-The Daily Show-Wyatt Cenac-Palin Is So Dumb


Share It, Post It, Email it!

Funny Comedians----Pics For Myspace----Stupid News

A Political Roast Pick-Headzup: McCain Picks Palin As VP

Fun Video Headzup: McCain Picks Palin As VP
John McCain announces Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his Vice Presidential candidate. Mitt Romney
Read More To Watch Video


Fun Video Headzup: McCain Picks Palin As VP


Share It, Post It, Email it!

Funny Comedians----Pics For Myspace----Stupid News

COMPARE THE CANDIDATES

Share It, Post It, Email it!

Funny Comedians----Pics For Myspace----Stupid News

Funny Political Picture-Obama, Palin, McCain

These are some funny pics!











Share It, Post It, Email it!

Funny Comedians----Pics For Myspace----Stupid News