Political Jokes-Political One Liners

In democracy it's your vote that counts;
In feudalism it's your count that votes.
Mogens Jallberg

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
Larry Hardiman

'The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.'
Will Rogers

'In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known.'
Thomas Pickering

'Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.'
Ronald Reagan

Will and Guy think that this is the best website for the latest political news.
I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty. Nancy Reagan
When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'
Theodore Roosevelt (Could have been any number of presidents since)

'The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it'.
Ronald Reagan

'I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting'.
Ronald Reagan

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
Doug Larson

Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either.
Gore Vidal

'Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it wrongly, and applying unsuitable remedies'.
Sir Ernest Benn

'In politics, absurdity is not a handicap'. Napoleon Bonaparte.
On my arrival in the United States I was struck by the degree of ability among the governed and the lack of it among the governing.'
Alexis de Toqueville

'Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy'.
Ernest Benn

'Politics makes strange bedfellows rich'. Wayne Haisley
'There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you'.
Will Rogers

'Politicians make strange bedfellows, but they all share the same bunk'.
Edgar A. Shoaff

'You can fool all of the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.'
Joseph Levine

'Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges, even where there are no rivers'.
Nikita Kruschchev

'Artificial hearts are nothing new. Politicians have had them for years.'
Mack McGinnis

Don't vote. You'll only encourage them.
Anon

'Although he is regularly asked to do so, God does not take sides in American politics.'
George Mitchell.

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. Mark Twain
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. Kin Hubbard

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. PJ O'Rourke
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
Will Rogers

Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
Alfred E. Newman

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