David Letterman Political Jokes

"Barack Obama is always talking about healthcare and you got the big healthcare bill and is it going to pass? And nobody knows and everybody is upset about it. We're worried about healthcare. I myself am concerned about healthcare because all week long I have been sick. I go to the doctor and tell him what my symptoms are. And he is conducting an examination and he says, 'I am sorry, Mr. Dave, I have no tongue depressor. Do you mind if I use my pocket comb?'" --David Letterman

"Sarah Palin announced she's leaving as governor of Alaska and everybody said 'Well, what is she going to do?' She wants to host a radio show, like a daily talk show. And of course, with that, she's going to have to tell people when she's winking." --David Letterman

"Well, today — I'm so excited about this, and I think we all are — the big kegger down in Washington at the White House. The big beer party. They're having the big beer party to celebrate the last day of finals." --David Letterman

"Here's who's going to be there — Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sergeant James Crowley, meeting with Barack Obama over beers. And I understand we had a spy down there looking in. It went so well that Vice President Biden had to go out twice for ice." --David Letterman

"I wonder if somebody like Bush had invited Saddam Hussein over to the White House, if we could have just settled that whole thing without all the bloodshed and violence." --David Letterman

"But Obama really cut loose at the kegger. He was wearing baggy dad jeans and sipping a Bud Lite." --David Letterman

"Things really went nuts at the kegger and about 8:00, everybody was a little tipsy, and they drunk dialed Ben Bernanke." --David Letterman

"And then things got completely out of hand and everybody took a leak in the Rose Garden." --David Letterman

"Everybody in Washington, DC, helped out to make the big kegger quite a success. And I thought this was nice. To show that there are no hard feelings anywhere, toward the end of the evening, Bill Clinton, former President Bill Clinton, that Bill Clinton, brought over a stripper." --David Letterman

Follow On Twitter----Premium Domain Names----Funny Political Cartoons