"Well, in sports news, the big story is the NFL now stands for 'Not For Limbaugh.'" –Jay Leno
"Well, as you probably know, conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh has been dropped from a group of investors who were trying to buy the St. Louis Rams. Speculation was that Limbaugh was considered by the league to be too controversial, you know, unlike Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, coach Tom Cable, Plaxico Burress. The NFL hates controversy." –Jay Leno
"Hey, some good news for Rush. The Oakland Raiders are offering to give him the team for free." –Jay Leno
"What's going on with the Oakland Raiders? You know, I don't want to say the Raiders are bad, but you know, now, a lot of fans are painting their faces just so they won't be recognized." –Jay Leno
"You know, it's probably best for Limbaugh because he would have been a minority owner. And once he became a minority, he would have to become a liberal and then he would have hated himself." –Jay Leno
"And for the first time in over a year, the Dow hit 10,000. Very exciting. Now, if you don't know what the Dow is, that is a list of companies President Obama hasn't taken over yet." –Jay Leno
"President Obama announced that he wants to give senior citizens $250. Has this been the greatest year for Brett Favre or what?" –Jay Leno
"President Obama went to New Orleans today to check up on the rebuilding efforts after Hurricane Katrina. When President Bush heard about it, he said, 'There was a hurricane in New Orleans?'"–Jay Leno
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