P is now saying they've captured anywhere from 35 percent to 75 percent of the oil that is gushing out of the well. Of course, you've got to keep in mind they usually lie anywhere from 85 percent to 95 percent of the time." –Jay Leno
It's amazing to me, the new unemployment figures are not good. A lot of people out of work, yet somehow the CEO of British Petroleum still manages to keep his job." –Jay Leno
"In an interview on NBC, President Obama said today he would've fired BP CEO Tony Hayward if he worked for him. But unfortunately, as you know, the White House works for BP." –Jay Leno
"This Tony Haywire guy, whatever his name is, he told the BBC on Sunday that he believes the new oil cap that they've installed will eventually capture the vast majority of oil spewing from the well. You know, if they could capture half the BS spewing from Tony Hayward, people would be thrilled." –Jay Leno
"BP CEO Tony Hayward said he would just like to get his life back. He wants to get his life back. You know, I say give him life plus 20." –Jay Leno
"Women won big in California, Arkansas, Nevada and South Carolina. These are exciting times. I can remember when only rich white men could buy elections. Now women can buy them, too." –Jay Leno
"Looks like this Gore divorce could end up being pretty costly. In fact, Al Gore now talking about only trying to save half the planet." –Jay Leno
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