"The State Department has issued a travel warning. They've warned Rick Sanchez not to travel to Israel." –Jay Leno
"Rick Sanchez was fired after saying that Jews control the media on a satellite radio show. Had he said it on his show on CNN, he wouldn't have been fired because no one would have heard it." –Jay Leno
"We're now in the longest, deepest recession since the Great Depression. When this recession started, Lindsay Lohan was known for her acting." –Jay Leno
"President Obama says the Democrats are waking up. Which is great when you're having a nightmare." –Jay Leno
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