"Obama’s in India for two days and Republicans are already accusing him of being a Hindu." –Jay Leno
"Nancy Pelosi, who lost her position as Speaker of the House says she will seek to become the House Minority Leader. And really who better qualified to be House Minority Leader than the person who led their party to become a minority in the first place." –Jay Leno
"MSNBC news anchor Keith Olbermann will be back to work on Wednesday after being suspended without pay for giving campaign contributions to Democratic candidates, which is against the rules at MSNBC. See, if only he had done like Eliot Spitzer and given his money to hookers, he would have gotten his own prime time show on CNN." –Jay Leno
"Earlier this evening, in an interview with Matt Lauer, President Bush revealed the most embarrassing thing he ever did when he was drunk. He asked a friend of his parents at a dinner party what sex was like after 50. Which is not so bad when you consider John McCain's most embarrassing moment. He picked Sarah Palin sober." –Jay Leno
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