David Letterman's "Top Ten Highlights Of Barack Obama's Deficit Plan"
10. Pay everything off with a giant bake sale on the White House lawn
9. New 10,000 percent tax on waffles — no way people are giving up their waffles!
8. Congressional Super Committee now reports to even more powerful Super Duper Committee
7. Medicare no longer covers butt X-rays
6. From now on, quarters are worth 26 cents
5. Change the definition of the word 'deficit'
4. Seniors must wait until they're 112 before they can collect Social Security
3. Open more post offices — those places are money machines!
2. Congressmen must pay hookers in cash
1. Jets giving three and a half in Cincy — it's like found money
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