Jay Leno Jokes About Osama,Clinton and Trump

"Osama Bin Laden's supporters want to rename the Arabian Sea where his body was dumped Martyr Sea. Really? Martyr Sea? Hiding in your bedroom for six years? How about Chicken of the Sea?" –Jay Leno

"Donald Trump is furious with President Obama. Killing bin Laden was supposed to be the final task on 'Celebrity Apprentice.'" –Jay Leno



"Today Hillary Clinton sent Khadafy a sealed note asking him to resign. Don’t send him a sealed note. Send him a note delivered by a Seal." –Jay Leno

"Pakistan is still saying they didn’t know bin Laden was hiding there. He wasn’t hiding there. He was living there. Look at these pictures. Here he is working as a crossing guard. Here’s his restaurant, Osama bin Laden’s, downtown, and here he is getting a star on the Islamabad Walk of Fame." –Jay Leno

Jimmy Kimmel Political Jokes about Obama and Trump

"

President Obama finally showed his birth certificate and it turns out he was born in Hawaii, of all places." –Jimmy Kimmel

“These people could have personally witnessed him being born out of an apple pie, in the middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the National Anthem – and they’d still think he was a Kenyan Muslim." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Next up, we ought to say we don’t believe he’s a man and refuse to let it go until he releases his penis.” –Jimmy Kimmel

"I’m surprised Donald Trump isn’t investigating whether Hawaii is an official state. A lot of vowels over there and not enough consonants." –Jimmy Kimmel

“Sarah Palin has written two books, her daughter Bristol has a book coming out – and now Levi Johnston is writing one too. Who would’ve ever guessed that America’s greatest literary dynasty would come out of an igloo?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"Levi and the publisher already have a title worked out for the book. It’s called 'I Need Money' by Levi Johnston.” –Jimmy Kimmel

'Face the Nation' Host: Trump's a Racist!

The host of " Face the Nation " -- flush with anger -- called Donald Trump a racist. Bob Schieffer appeared Wednesday night on " The CBS Evening News " and reacted to Trump's latest salvo against President Barack Obama , in which Trump suggested the Prez… Read more