"Today, President Obama met with Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama, or as President Bush called him, 'Mr. Miyagi.' The Japanese prime minister wanted to thank Obama for all of the money that Japan got from the 'Cash for Clunkers' program." --Jimmy Fallon
"But tomorrow, President Obama will be the first president to chair the U.N. Security Council. That's pretty cool. Meanwhile, Joe Biden became the first vice president to spend six hours in a Brookstone massage chair." --Jimmy Fallon
"The Obama's have been very busy. Tonight, they hosted an evening reception for world leaders at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York. The party was going great until Hugo Chavez started doing karaoke." --Jimmy Fallon
"In a speech to the Clinton Global Initiative yesterday, President Obama thanked Bill Clinton for the extraordinary difference he has made since leaving the White House. Clinton then stood up and thanked President Obama for keeping Hillary so busy." --Jimmy Fallon
"Vice President Joe Biden spoke at a retirement home in Maryland today to reassure senior citizens about health-care reform. The seniors didn't really care what Biden said in the speech, they were just happy to outlive it." --Jimmy Fallon
"Libya's President Muammar Qaddafi gave a lengthy tirade to the U.N. General Assembly today. He was supposed to talk for 15 minutes but went on a 90-minute rant instead. I mean, where is Kanye when you need him?" --Jimmy Fallon
"A pharmaceutical company is developing a microchip to be implanted in patients' shoulders that remind them to take their medication. That's just what crazy people on drugs need, right, a voice talking to them out of their shoulder?" --Jimmy Fallon
"I read this in Time magazine. Former presidential candidate Ralph Nader said that President Obama was 'weak, waffling and wavering.' And then Nader added: 'I do not like him in a house. I do not like him with a mouse.'" --Jimmy Fallon
Follow On Twitter----Premium Domain Names
0 comments:
Post a Comment