"People still upset that Barack Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize. And today the head of the Nobel Prize Committee defended the decision to give Obama this year's peace prize, saying that Obama's already accomplished quite a bit. When asked for an example, the committee chairman said, 'Come on, he won the freaking Nobel Peace Prize.'" --Conan O'Brien
"The Nobel committee is saying the reason they gave Obama the peace prize is for reducing tension around the world. So, the runners-up for this year's Nobel Prize were red wine and the Brookstone three-speed massaging recliner." --Conan O'Brien
"A new article just came out. It shows that the phrase used most often by President Obama is, 'Let me be clear' whereas the phrase used most often by Joe Biden is, 'Hey, where are you all going?'" --Conan O'Brien
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