"A new study shows that the phrase most often used by president Obama is, 'Let me be clear.' The phrase he uses the least often? 'Let me be specific.'" --Jay Leno
"President Obama was in New Orleans visiting the victims of Katrina yesterday. And he took questions from the audience. And one person asked him: 'What do you think about the Big Easy?' and he said, 'Oh, I just call it 'Nobel Peace Prize.'" --Jay Leno
"The governor's wife, Maria Shriver, was photographed violating the law by talking on a cell phone while driving. You know, I read about it on my BlackBerry while riding into work on my motorcycle the other day." -Jay Leno
"Yesterday in Louisiana, a judge denied an interracial couple a marriage license because he felt, I quote, their children would later suffer in life from being interracial. Like when they become president or win the Masters or get an Oscar." --Jay Leno
"This afternoon, according to a a media psychologist that was on this cable show today, it may not be John Edwards' fault that he cheats on his wife. Not his fault. They psychologist said he may suffer from a clinical condition known as Asperger's syndrome. Asperger's syndrome. No, you know what he has? He has 'ass grabber' syndrome." --Jay Leno
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