"Do people still bob for apples? Anybody bob for apples for God's sakes? Bobbing for apples or as Dick Cheney calls it, apple boarding." –David Letterman
"I bet you you go to Dick Cheney's house, trick-or-treating he is one of those guys that tells you you are going to have to spend the night because the bridge is out." –David Letterman
"Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin will be making an appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show, ladies and gentlemen. It's going to be good. It's going to be great because on the one hand you have a powerful, well respected icon, American woman who could be president. An on the other hand you have Sarah." –David Letterman
"And then John McCain will make an appearance live via satellite. That is, if he can find somebody to turn on the damn thing." –David Letterman
"She has got a book, a best selling book, she got paid a million dollars for the book called 'Going Rogue.' You think about it, she was Rambo, am I right?" –David Letterman
"That is the name of her book, 'Going Rogue.' And she got a million dollars for that and she is work on the sequel, 'Going Shopping.'" –David Letterman
"But just — a word of advice now to Oprah Winfrey, be prepared. Don't underestimate her. Remember how Palin schooled Katie Couric, remember that?" –David Letterman
"We wanted Sarah Palin to be on our program and she decided she was going to be on the Oprah program. I'm beginning to think maybe she doesn't like me." –David Letterman
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