David Letterman's "Top Ten Reasons Jeb Bush Isn’t Running for President"
10. Worried he can’t live up to the expectations
9. Doesn’t want to live in a house previously occupied by a smoker
8. Too busy with his daily routine: gym, tan, laundry
7. Huckabee has a lock on the 'pasty fat guy' vote
6. Leaves voicemail messages that make Mel Gibson sound like a choir boy
5. Scared of Lincoln’s ghost
4. Wants to be an 'American Idol' judge
3. Wasn’t blessed with the Bush family stammer
2. For some reason, he’d rather not inherit two wars, massive debt, and an ocean full of oil
1. No governor siblings to help him rig the election
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