"John Boehner told Republicans to 'get in line.' He was very angry. His face turned from orange to mandarin orange." –Jimmy Kimmel
"They say that the United States might default on its loans and China might foreclose. We'll have to move into a cheap rental country or something." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Sarah Palin said that if a deal isn't reached by Aug. 2, nothing will happen. Do you hear that, award-winning economists?" –Jimmy Kimmel
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