10. Lost support from both whack jobs and nut jobs
9. At debates, he mostly goes with, 'That's what she said'
8. Downgraded from campaign bus to cheaper campaign Vespa scooter
7. He's too mitty for Newt supporters, too newty for Mitt supporters
6. His new slogan: 'C'mon!'
5. Advisers are thinking of replacing him with Luke Perry
4. Just went hiking on the border of Iraq and Iran
3. Even his wife is wearing a 'Herman Cain' button
2. Instead of 'Freedom' and 'Liberty,' his cowboy boots read 'It's' and 'Over'
1. Even Michele O'Bachmann thinks he's nuts
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