"If you donate $5 to President Obama's re-election fund, you have a chance to have dinner with him. The first lady will even come around and personally knock the dessert right out of your hand." –Jimmy Kimmel"It's all part of the president's plan to get the country gambling again." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Now, they've dropped the price from $5 to $3. It's the first presidential groupon." –Jimmy Kimmel
"A group of politicians want to replace the dollar bill with a coin. Rappers would be out of business. You can't make it rain with coins. People would get hurt. Strippers would have to wear fanny packs. You can't fill up a thong with coins. Get rid of the penny. If it's not worth bending over for, it's not worth making." –Jimmy Kimmel
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