Arnold's Divorce Response -- Conflict Over Support

TMZ has learned ... Arnold Schwarzenegger has filed his response to Maria Shriver's divorce petition, and the former couple is at odds over whether Maria should get spousal support.

Arnold's lawyer, Bob Kaufman, checked the box on the legal docs asking the judge to terminate any right on Maria's part to get spousal support. Maria asked for spousal support in her petition.

Arnold -- like Maria -- is asking for joint custody of the couple's two minor children.

And there's another conflict. Maria is asking Arnold to pay for her attorney's fees. Arnold's response asks that the judge make each party foot the bill for their respective lawyers.

TMZ broke the story ... there is no prenup, so under California law both Arnold and Maria are entitled to a 50/50 split of all earnings and property accumulated during their 25-year marriage. The two are estimated to be worth around $400 million.

Fact is ... since -- as we first reported -- Arnold will get the very expensive family home -- Maria will probably end up with at least as much if not more cash than Arnold, so spousal support may become a non-issue ... especially since Arnold isn't earning any real money right now....Arnold's Divorce Response -- Conflict Over Support

Jimmy Fallon Political Jokes About Palin, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Ohio Congressman Bill Johnson said his Twitter account was hacked yesterday after an image of a naked man was posted on his page. When the Lord taketh a Weiner he giveth a Johnson." –Jimmy Fallon

"Spain’s running of the bulls is not nearly as scary as the U.S. event, the running of Sarah Palin." –Jimmy Fallon

"It's rumored that Arnold Schwarzenegger is working on a memoir. Yeah, it's apparently over 500 pages long — and that's just the dedication to his kids." –Jimmy Fallon

"The Treasury Department is shifting from paper to electronic savings bonds next year. But don't worry — the electronic bonds will be just as worthless as the paper ones." –Jimmy Fallon

Funny Late Night Arnold Schwarzenegger Political Jokes

"The Obama campaign is selling t-shirts with his long-form birth certificate and 'Made in the U.S.A.' Arnold Schwarzenegger is selling t-shirts that say 'Maid in the bedroom, made in the kitchen...'" –Jay Leno

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver have put their mansion on the market for 23 million dollars. The mansion is nice but it's not all that clean. They had a maid, but she was always busy doing other stuff." –Jimmy Fallon

"You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meg Whitman have in common? They both got in trouble for stiffing the maid. And today Arnold was offered the job as the new head of the International Monetary Fund." –Jay Leno

"Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a lovechild back in 2003. To be fair, Arnold has been taking financial responsibility for the child: education, health care ... everything he's taken away from every other child in California." –Craig Ferguson



"I guess 'love child' is a nicer term than 'OK-Maria's-asleep child.' The woman was an employee. I'm not sure what she did, but I think she worked on Arnold's staff." –Craig Ferguson


"Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's putting his career on hold to concentrate on personal matters. Either that or he's putting Korea on hold. It's hard to understand him. He told his talent agency to hold all his projects while he cleans up his personal mess. That's what happens when you impregnate your maid. There's no one to clean up messes for you." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Nobody believes Arnold could have kept this from Maria Shriver for 10 years because that would have required acting." -Bill Maher

"Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with his maid. I can't believe no one knew this was Arnold's son. When he came out of the womb, he snapped his own umbilical cord." –Jimmy Kimmel

"I don't know that 'love child' is an accurate term. I'd call it an 'oh crap' child." –Jimmy Kimmel

"There have been rumors going around for years now about a half Austrian, half Mexican baby – who could bench-press a Ford Expedition." –Jimmy Kimmel