Bill Maher Joke About Snooki,Palin and Republicans

"Why are we listening to a reality TV star anyway? That's all she is. Can I check in with Snooki and the Kate Moss?" –Bill Maher

"Palin has now agreed to be the keynote speaker next month at a hunter’s convention in Las Vegas. Uh, Siegfried and Roy, if you’re listening, I would put those tigers in an undisclosed location." –Bill Maher

"John Boehner skipped the memorial to attend a fundraising cocktail party. He said it's not that he doesn't care, just that it was sad and he's one of those men who's uncomfortable showing emotions in public." –Bill Maher

"A lot of the Republicans, I must say, I give it up to them, they applauded Obama's speech. Some of them said, I swear to God, it was too good, said it was just a little too good. They said, if you want us to love a black man with a golden voice, he'd better be a homeless guy, begging for change." –Bill Maher

"Since Tom DeLay has done only two things since leaving politics – 'Dancing with the Stars,' and now prison – somebody must tell him there are easier ways to have sex with men." –Bill Maher

David Letterman rips on John Boehner and Republicans

"Now that the Republicans have taken over the House, they're going to repeal everything President Obama has done. They even told Michelle Obama that her vegetable garden has to go." –David Letterman

"How about the new Speaker of the House, John Boehner. Have you seen this guy's enormous gavel. I'm telling you, if in four hours, that gavel is still that size, he's got to call a doctor." –David Letterman

"John Boehner -- doesn't he look like every guy you've ever seen at a hotel bar? He looks like the kind of guy who licks his thumb when he counts his money." –David Letterman

"Birds are falling out of the sky in Arkansas and Louisiana and London. Today I saw my parakeet looking at the obituaries in the newspaper on the bottom of his cage, chirping, 'Petey!'" –David Letterman

Jimmy Kimmel jokes about Republicans, wall street and Nancy Pelosi

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Republicans took control of the House for the first time in four years. They say they're going to stick to a strict interpretation of the Constitution. I hope you didn't like voting, women and non-whites." –Jimmy Kimmel

"They're also hoping to cut back on government regulation on Wall Street. I think we can all agree that Wall Street does a good job policing itself." –Jimmy Kimmel

"The last speaker, Nancy Pelosi has a frozen face and John Boehner has an orange face. If you put them together, you've got the Creamsicle of the House." –Jimmy Kimmel

2010 US election results Republicans Take House

2010 US election results Democrat | Republican
US House 184 seats 239 seats
US Senate 51 seats* 46 seats

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White House Green Jobs Adviser Republicans Are A@%Holes

California - Van Jones, the Obama administration?s ?green jobs? adviser, told a group of listeners earlier in the year that the reason Republicans are stonewalling the president is because they?re ?assholes.? He made the remark during an energy lecture in Berkeley after a woman in the audience asked him why President Obama and congressional Democrats were having trouble moving legislation ? even though Republicans, with a smaller majority, didn?t have as much trouble earlier in the Bush administration....More

RNC: Republicans will be denied healthcare

Apparently the death panels myth wasn't enough for the Republican National Committee. They're apparently trying to start a whole new one -- now, it won't just be old people who will be refused care under Democratic healthcare plans, but all Republicans.

The RNC sent out a fundraising mailer recently. Couched as a survey, it contained one question that reads, "It has been suggested that the government could use voter registration to determine a person's political affiliation, prompting fears that GOP voters might be discriminated against for medical treatment in a Democrat-imposed health care rationing system. Does this possibly concern you?"

This would be laughable if it weren't so shameless, so irresponsible and so dirty.

But the RNC got caught out by one couple in Washington State who received the mailing and went to their local paper with it. It'd be nice to think that, post-exposure, the RNC would show some sort of remorse and -- just maybe -- stop spreading this kind of thing. But given the attitude of RNC Chair Michael Steele in his interview with NPR Thursday morning, that seems very unlikely....Salon.com
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Funny Political Jokes-Things Republicans Believe

Things Republicans Believe

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

"Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

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The Righteous Right Winged Republicans are really closet freaks!

Well,Well,Well, now that the smoke is clearing form Gov. Mark Sandford's torched marriage and political career. What a strange man, who knows what else he was up toooo.
We see the Republican sex scandals are piling up. Mark Sandford is just another troubled Republican that spews the parties ideaology of abstinence,the sanctity of Marriage and family values does the complete opposite!

Republican Scandals from just the last to yearsWhat freaks!

2009
Mark Sanford, governor of South Carolina, disappears during Father's Day weekend, returning to confess an extramarital affair in Argentina.

John Ensign, Senator from Nevada, refuses to resign after confessing to an extramarital affair with a married staffer, claiming she was trying to extort him.

2008
Bruce Barclay, former Cumberland County commissioner, videotaped hundreds of sexual encounters — many with male escorts — using cameras hidden throughout his Monroe Township home.

Matthew Joseph Elliott, former aide to Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, was convicted of sexual exploitation of a child.

Vito Fossella, the only Republican member of Congress from New York City, admitted to police to having a child out-of-wedlock when stopped for drunk driving.
Robert McKee, Republican delegate from Western Maryland, announced his resignation after authorities seized two computers, videotapes and printed materials from his Hagerstown home in a child pornography investigation. McKee also resigned his position as executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Washington County.

Daniel Dean Thompson, 31, a Utah retailer of "family-friendly" tapes and DVDs (Hollywood films with the "dirty parts" removed), arrested and booked into the Utah County jail on charges of sexual abuse and unlawful sexual activity with a 14-year-old.

Derek Walker, former Eagle Scout and candidate seeking the GOP nomination in a race for north-central Pennsylvania district, was charged with felony burglary and criminal trespass stemming from an encounter last year with an ex-girlfriend, during which he allegedly broke into her home and used his cell phone to videotape her engaged in an intimate moment with another man.

2007
Robert "Bob" Allen, Florida state Rep. arrested in the afternoon at a Veteran's Memorial Park for solicitation of prostitution from an undercover male officer inside a restroom. According to the papers, Bob "offer[ed] to perform oral sex for $20". Bob later claimed that his offer had something to do with his being afraid of black people.

John David Roy Atchison, Republican prosecutor, was arrested for soliciting sex from a 5-year old girl, then killed himself three weeks later. At the time of his arrest, Atchison was an "assistant U.S. attorney" appointed by President Bush's attorney general.

E. Ozwald Balfour, chairman of the Utah Republican Black Assembly and elected to the Republican State Central Committee in 2007, even though he was awaiting trial on four felony counts of forcible sex abuse dating back to his arrest in February, 2005.

John Bryan, Republican city councilman, killed himself after police began investigating allegations that he had molested three girls, including two of his adopted daughters, ages 12 and 15.

Larry Craig Republican Senator for Idaho, was arrested on July 11, 2007, by plainclothes police officer investigating complaints of lewd behavior in a Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport airport men's room. On August 8 in Hennepin County Municipal Court in Bloomington, Minnesota, Craig entered a guilty plea and paid a $500 fine. On September 1st, Craig subsequently announced his retirement from the Senate. Five days later, Craig changed his mind, renounced his retirement and began a battle to have his guilty plea overturned.

John R. Curtin, Monroe County state Republican committeeman, was convicted of molesting an underage teenage boy and sentenced to serve six to 18 months in prison.

Richard Curtis, Washington State Rep., resigned from the House after reports of his sexual encounter with a male escort became public.

Donald Fleischman, Brown County, WI, Republican Party Chairman, resigned his post after he was charged with two counts of child enticement, two counts of contributing to the delinquency of a child and a single charge of exposing himself to a child.

Larry Dale Floyd, Republican Constable in Denton County, Texas Precinct Two. Arrested for allegedly crossing state lines to have sex with an 8-year old child and was charged with 7 related offenses. Age 62 at time of arrest.

Ted Klaudt, former South Dakota State Rep., found guilty of four counts of second-degree rape of two teenage foster daughters.

Ronald C. Kline, Republican Judge in Orange County, CA, pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer after six years of legal wrangling. In 2002, charged with child molestation and under house arrest on federal charges of possessing child pornography, political analysts still gave him a 50-50 chance of winning the March 5 primary for the Orange County Superior Court seat. He lost the election to a write-in candidate.

Joseph M. McDade, 75, was issued a summons on a charge of exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor that carries up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine. The longtime Pennsylvania Republican congressman who served for 36 years in the House and now works for a Washington lobbying firm, has been accused of exposing his private parts to two women at a beach resort on Sanibel Island.

Patrick Lee McGuire, former former Flagler County Commissioner, surrendered to police after allegedly molesting girls between the ages of 8 and 13.

Jon Matthews, Republican talk show host in Houston, was indicted for indecency with a child, including exposing his genitals to a girl under the age of 17.

Joseph Monteleone Jr., Elyria city councilman, was found guilty of fondling underage girls and asking them to have sex with him.

Glenn Murphy Jr., chairman of the Clark County Republican Party and president of the Young Republican National Federation, resigned both posts, after the Clark County Sheriff’s Department began investigating Murphy for alleged criminal deviate conduct. A 22-year-old man claimed that Murphy performed an unwanted sex act on him while the man slept in a relative’s Jeffersonville home. During the investigation, a similar accusation from 1998 came to light.

Armando Tebano, Schenectady County Republican Chairman, pleaded guilty to fondling a 14-year-old girl.

David Vitter, junior Senator from Louisiana, became one of the few high-profile politicians to be implicated as a client of "D.C. Madam" Deborah Jeane Palfrey.

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