"As of today, same-sex couples may now legally get married in Vermont. So finally, finally, after years of waiting, we'll get to hear these words out of Vermont: 'I now pronounce you Ben and Jerry.'" --Conan O'Brien
"A spokesperson for Sarah Palin says she's about 85% finished with her book which means that Sarah Palin is finished with her book." --Conan O'Brien
"A political group is urging Dick Cheney to run for president in 2012. It's a political group known as the Democrats." --Conan O'Brien
"Of course, the healthcare debate is raging. And yesterday, John McCain spoke to nearly 100 doctors and nurses. It wasn't a political meeting. It was McCain's annual checkup." --Conan O'Brien
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