"President and Mrs. Obama hosted the annual White House Easter Egg Roll today. Dozens of children gathered on the White House lawn to roll eggs toward a finish line while the president cheered them on and Republicans tried to block them." -Jimmy Kimmel
"As you probably know, Michelle Obama's pet project is raising awareness of childhood obesity, so they didn't just roll eggs this year. They rolled a few fat kids to make an example of them." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Bristol Palin is continuing her campaign about teen pregnancy. It's funny that she's going around telling kids not to get pregnant when her mom is telling people, 'Drill, baby, drill.' ... Bristol was a pregnant teen herself. She named her baby 'Tripp,' with two p's, which is reason enough for teens not to have kids." -Jimmy Kimmel
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