"What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I'm not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they're anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they're anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they're super Christian, they're a witch." —Bill Maher
"Christine O'Donnell is behind, but I don't think it's the witch stuff. I think it's because of her anti-masturbation stance. She's very serious about that, and you know people in Delaware are going, 'Come on, I live in Delaware, what else am I suppose to do?'" —Bill Maher
"Here in California we also have a bit of a scandal. Jerry Brown was leaving a message on somebody's phone line and he thought he hung up, but he didn't. And then you can hear somebody say, 'Meg Whitman is a whore.' You know, some candidates have trouble with the Internet, Facebook, or Twitter. Jerry is still getting the hang of the phone." —Bill Maher
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