"I feel bad for the Chilean miners. They were down there in the dark so long. I mean, my God, it's like the Tea Party." —David Letterman
"Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late." —David Letterman
"The Nobel Prize in the fiction category went to Christine O'Donnell's resume." —David Letterman
"North Korea is getting a new evil dictator. Kim Jong Il is appointing his dim-witted son, Kim Jong W. Il." —David Letterman
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