"Yesterday a woman wore a bikini to LAX airport hoping to avoid the patdown. She is still being patted down." —Conan O'Brien
"Monday was a big online shopping day called 'Cyber Monday.' Immediately followed by 'Identity Theft Tuesday.'" —Conan O'Brien
"In a recent interview, Sarah Palin said we have to stand with 'our North Korean allies.' When told that North Korea is not our ally, Palin said, 'Sorry, I meant East Korean allies.'" —Conan O'Brien
"President Obama has set aside over 180 million acres of land for polar bears. When Sarah Palin heard about it, she said, 'Todd, get my gun.'" —Conan O'Brien
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