Jay Leno Tonight Show Political Jokes on July 7th

"You people are so lucky you live in California. This heat wave back east is just unbelievable. … It was so hot in Washington, Nancy Pelosi skipped the Botox, had her face injected with frozen yogurt." –Jay Leno

"Vice President Joe Biden made a surprise visit to Iraq on July 4. It was a surprise because Biden thought he was going to Des Moines for a fund-raiser." –Jay Leno

"While Vice President Biden was away, Republican Chairman Michael Steele was forced to take over the job of saying embarrassing things you have to apologize for later." –Jay Leno

"You hear about this? Michael Steele said that — well, he's in trouble, actually — for saying the war in Afghanistan was Obama's war, and it was unwinnable. In fact, Steele felt so sorry for it, he said today he went to his favorite bondage nightclub, demanded to be spanked." –Jay Leno

"Well, there was talk the Democrats are going to try and pass an immigration bill this year, but it looks like that's not going to happen. It's kind of ironic. The only place that has an immigration plan is Mexico, and their plan is to immigrate here." –Jay Leno

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Conan O'Brien Tonight Show Political Jokes

"People in New York are especially excited by Judge Sotomayor because she comes from the Bronx. In fact, Judge Sotomayor famously presided over the landmark New York City case, Shut Up vs. No, You Shut Up." --Conan O'Brien

"President Obama has another nominee in the news. That's right. President Obama's nominee for surgeon general is a doctor who practices in rural Alabama and still makes house calls. Can you believe that? Of course, in Alabama, a house call is when the patients drive their house to you." --Conan O'Brien

"The U.S. government has issued a warning to builders not to use a Chinese drywall because they say it's defective. The Chinese government denied this and said, 'Hey, if there's one thing we know how to build, it's a wall.'" --Conan O'Brien

"California lawmakers still trying to close the state's massive budget deficit, so they're now talking about saving money by consolidating all the state agencies into different groups. By far, the most controversial proposal is for a Department of Education, Firearms and Alcohol." --Conan O'Brien


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Funny Political-Conan Gets Shout-Out from Obama on Tonight Show

President Obama surprised The Tonight Show audience with a special message declaring that Conan O'Brien will do an "outstanding job" as the show's new host.

Conan aired a clip from NBC's "Inside the White House" special, in which Brian Williams asked if Obama had almost canceled his overseas trip this week to stay and watch Conan's debut as host of The Tonight Show.

A deadpan Obama replied, "This is something we discussed several times in the Oval Office, how to manage this transition between Leno and Conan. And I think he's up to the task. But I just want him to know that there is not going to any bailout coming out from Washington if he screws it up."




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